As everyone that reads my blog knows, I LOVE to drink. My favorite beverage is the nectar for all 30-something women. Wine. Oh, how I love wine. Even more than wine, I love the shit out of gin. Good gin. Not that cheap shit that bums drink. Give me Hendricks with a good tonic and cucumber and I’m happy as can be.
I stopped drinking gin except for on the rarest occasion since it makes me mean in large quantities and the hangover was just ridiculous. For my everyday drinking I stuck with wine. Usually a pinot grigio. By the box.
Over the past few years my drinking has increased. It went from a couple of nights a week (if that) to every single night. We’re not talking a bottle’s worth. Usually 2-3 glasses on average. Some nights more. This was fine at first. I was still able to get up and go about my day. Run, get to work, all that good stuff.
As time went on – and let’s face it, as I got older – hangovers started showing up. It became harder and harder to get out of bed the next morning. Entire evenings were forgotten. For what? To sit in my house drinking wine with my dog? (Gio was an awesome drinking partner, btw.)
That is not the way to live life. Not the way I want to live my life. I have things to do, people to see, and places to go.
Or so I thought…
The past couple of months I’ve actually been putting forth some effort in curbing my drinking. While I don’t know if I need to never drink again/can’t really face that possibility right now I have been cutting down a bunch. I’m sober more nights than I am drinking. Good right?
But… it’s so fucking boring and lonely. Instead of drinking with my pup (she likes a good gin martini) I’m basically sitting here doing absolutely nothing. I’m waiting for it to get late enough so I can go to bed. I’m sad and angry. Why? Because I want a glass of wine. Duh.
It’s weird. I have a ton of shit to do here in the apartment. I have books to read, video games to play, guitars and flutes to practice, a new puppy to play with, a full gym (up the street, of course), a dirty apartment that could be cleaned, etc. Instead I just sit on my couch and wish I was drinking. Period.
Well, last night I was bored and got up and went to the gym. I enjoyed it. Then I came home and cooked a real dinner, did some reading, then watched some crap on Netflix. (It was bad.) This is kind of what I did every night while drinking, except that this morning I remember what I watched and actually got in a workout.
Not to shabby. Is this what normal people that aren’t lushes do in the evening?
So, there it is. You now know my biggest secret.
I am GeekGirl. I just might be an alcoholic. Judge accordingly.
(Note: I feel like 100 lbs. just lifted off my shoulders!)
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Ive never dealt with any type of addiction (I just don’t have an addictive personality) so its hard for me to relate but seriously, good for you. I’m a bad drinker – 2 drinks and I’m sleepy and ALWAYS have a hard time motivating the next day so it’s easy for me to avoid it. And yes, to answer your question – that’s what this non-lush girl does week nights and I actually really enjoy it. (weird?)
I thought I was an alcoholic for a while, turns out I was just drinking too much, an easy thing to do when you’re home and bored. Even when I stopped drinking on weeknights, I still over-analyzed and rationalized every drink I had because I am afraid of BECOMING an alcoholic, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I’m aware of my addictive personality, and that helps keeps me in line. Just don’t put any rails under my nose or I WILL HOOVER THAT SHIT RIGHT UP.
Kidding, probably.
No judgment here! I added your blog to my Google Reader, look forward to getting to know you.