So, the last time I did a tempo run, I was pretty happy with my results. That run marked my first time this training round doing a tempo outside in the heat. I was shocked to run 9:20 average for both miles despite the “balmy” temps.
Well, I had another tempo run yesterday. I was to run 2 x 1 mile @ tempo w/.5 mile recovery. Gulp.
I tried a different route, but still didn’t offset the stupid bridge. So, I wound up hitting the bridge during both tempo miles. (The previous tempo was basically flat.) My first mile was 9:12. My second one was 9:13. I also didn’t feel like I needed to throw up and I was able to haul ass up the bridge both times.
Does this mean I’m getting faster? I hate to get all hopeful and stuff, but I’ve truly been hating my training and running lately. I’m hot, frustrated, and just don’t want to get out there. This run (as well as my stellar run on Tuesday – bridge repeats that felt GOOD) actually made me hungry to train. I also feel like it’s getting easier for me to run in the heat.
Now, if only I can get rid of my long run fear. For some reason, I just can’t face running long in this heat. I haven’t had a double digit run in ages and it’s really crunch time. Tomorrow morning I’ve got to try to pull a 12 mile run out of my ass or it’s time for me to face the reality that I can’t run the Chicago Half. I’m hitting all of my other runs, but just can’t run long. It sucks and makes me really depressed. This situation has made me come to the realization that I HATE training for marathons in the summer. I need to run Spring races so I can blissfully train during the winter.
That upsets me, but I realize that it’s better to know your limitations and deal with them than to try to force myself to do something that I obviously am not enjoying. Next summer I’ll hit the 5k’s, tri’s, etc and enjoy training for short times in the heat.
I run because I really enjoy it. I’m one of those weirdos that often runs without music or a watch and just enjoys being out there. I understand that I’m not always going to love it, but the fear and anxiety I fear before long runs when it’s hot (this doesn’t happen when it’s “cool”) are sucking the joy out of this for me.
Is there shame in admitting that? What say you internet people? Do I suck? Am I not a “real” runner?
With all that said I’m still going to open up a can of whoop ass in New York…and Chicago. I’ll just run the half undertrained.