All right. I’m in a super bad mood. Why? Well, I’m still freaking sick, Gio smells like fish or cheese or something, and April Fool’s Day is just rubbing me all kinds of wrong.
All of these things have combined to give me a HUGE case of the Don’t-Give-A-Shits. (See Exhibit A.) Here are the symptoms:
- Some website or whatever does it’s April Fools thing and is all, “April Fools” and all you can think is, “Who gives a shit?”.
- You’re wearing a tank-top, flip flops, and jeans that might NOT be yours. Thought: “Who gives a shit?”.
- You went for a run this morning, couldn’t get down to tempo pace and somehow added an extra 1.5 miles on your run. WHO GIVES A SHIT??
- Friend calls to tell you about….well you don’t even know because you don’t give a shit.
- Cute guy is checking you out and smiling. Not only do you not give a shit, but you also roll your eyes at him. (He probably could not see it though because of your bitching new sunglasses. Yes. I just used the word bitching. I do not give a shit.)
- Everyone is yapping about their weekend plans or whatever. YOU STILL DO NOT GIVE A SHIT.
- Your house is a disgusting, filthy mess. NOT GIVING A SHIT.
The only cure that I have found for a case of the Don’t Give A Shits is copious amounts of booze (preferable gin), sitcoms from your childhood , and giving everyone around you a patented “bitch, please” look. (Please see Exhibit B).
Hopefully, tomorrow I will give a shit and can give you a decent post.
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
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I just read this twice and I’m still laughing.