For me, there were a couple of moments. The first was last Tuesday. I was going into Petsmart to get Willow some dog food/blow my whole paycheck on shit she doesn’t need. Like a hat. (They didn’t have any in her size. Yet.)
Anyway, I realized I needed a basket since I was going to be getting her huge bag of dog food and went back to the front to grab a basket. Once I got it, I caught a glimpse of myself on the security monitor.
What I saw was pretty horrifying. A youngish looking woman with pants and a shirt that were too tight. Her thighs were ginormous and she looked puffy and uncomfortable. Even the color of my skin looked off. (Though now that I think of it, the picture might have been in black and white.) Even my wonderfully curly hair looked bad.
I was a hot, fucking mess. I don’t do hot, fucking mess. My look is casually cute. You know. Beachy, geeky chic. Flip flops, quirky shirts, cute yet expensive jeans. Hot purses. But none of it over done.
The next moment was at the doctors office. I had to go in for my third visit to find out the status of my girly parts. Of course, I had to hop on the scale. I knew what the number was going to be, but seeing it there in the office and the look the nurse gave me almost made me cry.
I am officially “overweight”. Not by a lot, but still I’m overweight.
I don’t want to hear any of that health at any size bullshit, or that the charts are wrong. I’m fat. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it and I don’t fucking like it.
So, what do I go do about all of this? I go home and freak the fuck out. How the fuck does someone lose 20-30 lbs? Is that even possible? Does it take years? Is this what going into my 40′s is going to be like?
It was one big, huge temper tantrum done while cramming a bottle of wine in my face to wash down the Reese’s Minis that were supposed to make me feel better about my fatness. Uhm? Hmmm…
Getting a REAL Plan
I’ve yapped about losing weight before here. In general I know what to do to drop weight, but that’s always been 5 lbs or so. Not a significant amount of weight.
I looked at a few different diets. The Dukan diet, some other low carb shit, started counting calories, etc. None of it appealed to me and counting calories made me cry. Seriously.
While whining to my good friend Mr. F, he mentioned that he lost 12 lbs in 2 weeks on Weight Watchers.
I joined that night.
Of course, I wanted to see a 6 lbs loss in the first week, but that’s not going to happen. When I whined to Mr. F, he told me that if I want to lose 12 lbs in 2 weeks I need to do the following: Gain 100 lbs. Then go on a diet. Dude is trying to lose and entire GeekGirl. Point taken Mr. F.
It’s been a week or so since I joined. I had some days where I completely blew my diet (I’m learning that I eat way too many carbs and oh my holy shit is wine a waste of my points. That shit is gone! Alcohol problem solved. Because I’m vain.)
I’m really just now getting into the whole swing of things. I’m learning what to eat and when. My diet really has not changed too much except that I now measure everything I eat. Who knew a serving of rice was so freaking small? Or that butter was that much of a waste of points?
My first week and I’ve lost 2 lbs.
Not as impressive as most people, but as Mr. F and my mom (she’s a lifetime member) pointed out I don’t have that much to lose. If I dropped 5 lbs the first week it would be a bit concerning.
I finally saw how fat I really am and am ignoring those that say the weight looks good on me. It does not.
I joined Weight Watchers because I had no idea how to drop weight.
Question for you: Have you ever had “that” moment? It doesn’t have to be about weight. It can be about anything. Your drinking, dietary habits, that horrible hair color that you thought you were pulling off but clearly weren’t and no one wanted to tell you?