First of all, a Gio update. He is responding very well to his new heart medicine. He’s up and terrorizing me per usual. I understand that this is just temporary, but as long as he appears to still be happy and comfortable I’ll keep him around. Even if he is a little zombie at this point. (I think I heard him say, “Braaaiiiinnnssss…” the other day.) I took some pictures of him, but can’t find the cord to my camera. Once I find it, I’ll upload some Gio porn.
My surgery is on Wednesday. I’m not going to lie, I’m terrified. The past week or so has been really hard for me. I’ve tried to cancel my surgery more times than I can count. I have tried every excuse possible to get out of it, but my family and friends keep insisting I get it done. There’s been a couple of things making me anxious.
I first thought that my surgery was going to be done through laparoscopy. This would have had me FULLY recovered no later than two weeks. I’d most likely be up and around in a couple of days. It turns out that I’m getting laparotomy. This is a full incision at the bikini line and requires a much longer recovery. I will not be cleared to drive for at least a week and there is no way I’m working for at least two weeks. The doctor might clear me to do some work from home that second week, but it’s really dependent on how I’m feeling.
In addition to all this, my boss has not been overly cooperative with my taking time off. He first thought when I told him I needed surgery that I would be out for 3-4 days. Really? Uhm, no. He’s had something urgent come up and needs to get out of town quickly, so he is rushing me back to work. I told him at least 2 weeks, and if necessary I’ll work from home. Honestly, I’m stressed that I’m not going to recover quick enough. On the other hand, I will NOT rush my recovery for him. I want to be fully healed before I return to work.
Oddly, all the items I read online don’t line up with what my doc has told me. He said that my incision will only be about 5 cm and that I will only need 2-3 weeks for recovery. Everything online says 5-6 INCHES and at least 6 weeks recovery. That’s where some of my anxiety is coming from. I really should trust my surgeon and just go with it.
Another thing that has upped the anxiety is that the biopsy of my cervix came back abnormal. So, in addition to removing the fibroids and cysts the oncologist will also be performing a LEEP procedure on me. It doesn’t sound too horrible, but the fact that I’ve got precancerous lesions in my cervix scares the hell out of me.
I’m going to take some pics of my body before surgery and after. I fully understand that a bit of the chunk I’ve put on is due to not running and drinking too much gin. However, I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been and it will be interesting to document my recovery and progress. Particularly since I didn’t find too many bloggers discussing their myomectomy/cystomectomies.
I’m ready to get this over with, but scared out of my mind if that makes any sense. The sooner the surgery is done, the closer I am to getting back to normal. I’m trying so hard not to put any sort of expectations on myself. I would love to say that I’m going to run x race on y date , or that I’m going to lose x amount of lbs by ??? date. I’m not going to do that. I’ve had enough failure this year. I’m going to let my body dictate when it’s recovered and ready to go back to work, running, etc.
OTOH, I do have some races planned for next year. Nothing big. All under 10k which I think is obtainable.
I feel like I deserve a pair of cowboy boots and a mini-vacation to somewhere fabulous after all this. Is that self indulgent? Silly? I’d love to spend a week or so in some zen spiritual retreat. What say you?
With that, I’ll see all of y’all on the flip side.
If only I could run away like this wise panda is doing. What’s causing this? Have a seat.
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