The Adventures of GeekGirl

This is GeekGirl's Universe. You just live in it!

Who the Hell is GeekGirl?

Quickie Update

by GeekGirl

Categories: Girly Bit Problems, Life, my myomectomy, running

Tags: No Tags

Comments: No Comments

Published on: April 10, 2012

I’m working on part II of “On Being That Black Girl”. I didn’t know people would find that interesting, so I’m fleshing out the second part a little more. In the meantime, I want to give a quickie update on me. Why? Why not?

Last week, I tried a running streak. It lasted 3 days and then my knee started to hurt. I’m happy to report that I took a day or 2 off and now feel fine. I’m sure the knee didn’t start bothering me due to the 3 days. The knee started bothering me because I ran in the Brooks Ghost. I really like that shoe, but can only wear it sparingly right now. Same thing with any other light shoes that I wear. For the time being, I’m rotating between the Mizuno Waveriders (so glad they fit well again! Love this shoe!), Brooks Launch, Brooks Ghost, and Brooks Defyance. Can you tell which brands I prefer?

So, the running is there. It’s getting easier and I’m starting to feel like a runnerish type person. (Though, oddly, I should be running right now but am not.) I’m thinking of doing a 10k at the end of May and may do a 5k around the end of the month. I have to look around and see what is available because I am lazy and refuse to drive for longer than I’m going to run.

Last Thursday I had an appointment with my cancer doctor. It was just a follow up and so far he says everything looks good. I’m waiting on the results of the tests that were taken. If everything is all clear I see him again in August, then I can become a regular patient that only goes to the gyno once a year. I am so ready to close this chapter of my life. This chapter seems to have been going on forever and I’m emotionally and physically exhausted from it.

Yes. I’ll admit it. My life is a bit of a mess right now. I’m working through it though and know I will get back to happy or at least content at some point. I just wish it would hurry the fuck up.

Almost Go Time!

by GeekGirl

Categories: Girly Bit Problems, my myomectomy, zombie gio

Tags: No Tags

Comments: 4 Comments

Published on: October 17, 2011

First of all, a Gio update. He is responding very well to his new heart medicine. He’s up and terrorizing me per usual. I understand that this is just temporary, but as long as he appears to still be happy and comfortable I’ll keep him around. Even if he is a little zombie at this point. (I think I heard him say, “Braaaiiiinnnssss…” the other day.) I took some pictures of him, but can’t find the cord to my camera. Once I find it, I’ll upload some Gio porn.

My surgery is on Wednesday. I’m not going to lie, I’m terrified. The past week or so has been really hard for me. I’ve tried to cancel my surgery more times than I can count. I have tried every excuse possible to get out of it, but my family and friends keep insisting I get it done. There’s been a couple of things making me anxious.

I first thought that my surgery was going to be done through laparoscopy. This would have had me FULLY recovered no later than two weeks. I’d most likely be up and around in a couple of days. It turns out that I’m getting laparotomy. This is a full incision at the bikini line and requires a much longer recovery. I will not be cleared to drive for at least a week and there is no way I’m working for at least two weeks. The doctor might clear me to do some work from home that second week, but it’s really dependent on how I’m feeling.

In addition to all this, my boss has not been overly cooperative with my taking time off. He first thought when I told him I needed surgery that I would be out for 3-4 days. Really? Uhm, no. He’s had something urgent come up and needs to get out of town quickly, so he is rushing me back to work. I told him at least 2 weeks, and if necessary I’ll work from home. Honestly, I’m stressed that I’m not going to recover quick enough. On the other hand, I will NOT rush my recovery for him. I want to be fully healed before I return to work.

Oddly, all the items I read online don’t line up with what my doc has told me. He said that my incision will only be about 5 cm and that I will only need 2-3 weeks for recovery. Everything online says 5-6 INCHES and at least 6 weeks recovery. That’s where some of my anxiety is coming from. I really should trust my surgeon and just go with it.

Another thing that has upped the anxiety is that the biopsy of my cervix came back abnormal. So, in addition to removing the fibroids and cysts the oncologist will also be performing a LEEP procedure on me. It doesn’t sound too horrible, but the fact that I’ve got precancerous lesions in my cervix scares the hell out of me.

I’m going to take some pics of my body before surgery and after. I fully understand that a bit of the chunk I’ve put on is due to not running and drinking too much gin. However, I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been and it will be interesting to document my recovery and progress. Particularly since I didn’t find too many bloggers discussing their myomectomy/cystomectomies.

I’m ready to get this over with, but scared out of my mind if that makes any sense. The sooner the surgery is done, the closer I am to getting back to normal. I’m trying so hard not to put any sort of expectations on myself. I would love to say that I’m going to run x race on y date , or that I’m going to lose x amount of lbs by ??? date. I’m not going to do that. I’ve had enough failure this year. I’m going to let my body dictate when it’s recovered and ready to go back to work, running, etc.

OTOH, I do have some races planned for next year. Nothing big. All under 10k which I think is obtainable.

I feel like I deserve a pair of cowboy boots and a mini-vacation to somewhere fabulous after all this. Is that self indulgent? Silly? I’d love to spend a week or so in some zen spiritual retreat. What say you?

With that, I’ll see all of y’all on the flip side.

Modern Medicine Rocks

by GeekGirl

Categories: Girly Bit Problems, Life

Tags: No Tags

Comments: 5 Comments

Published on: October 5, 2011

First and foremost, I want to say thank you so much to all of my internet homies. Life is sucking, but you guys are helping a bunch.

Yesterday, I went to see the oncologist. He did a biopsy and took a look at my charts. He told me that all of my blood work came back quite normal. Since that is the case, we can sit and wait another 4 months to see if the growths shrink or I could choose to have them scoped out and removed. Since I’m sick of sitting and waiting and understand how quickly they came on I chose to have them removed. (Or at least scoped out.) Particularly the complex one on my ovary and the larger one in my uterus.

I get to keep all my organs and LIKELY do not have cancer!!!

The laparoscopy is a pretty simple procedure. They go in through a small incision, take a look around and remove anything that does not look right. It’s minimally invasive, so I’ll only be in the hospital over night. They told me to plan on not driving etc for a week and then being back to my regular life w/in two weeks. Most women are up and about in a couple of days, though.

Overall, I’m happy with the news and happy with my decision. I’m still going back and forth, but I’d rather be safe then sorry. I’m also ready to just get on with my life!

Surgery is Oct. 19. I can’t say I’m excited, but I’m ready. I can be back to normal by November and putting all of this stuff behind me once and for all.

Things are finally looking up here in the GeekGirl household. (Yes. It’s the GeekGirl household.)

The only bad thing I have to do next is take care of Zombie Gio. He keeps collapsing and when he does he pees on everything. (Usually me since I’m holding him, but yesterday my brand new dry-clean only comforter and quilt. My fault since I stupidly laid him there.) I’m not sure if they can up his heart meds so it might be “that time”. I’ve been sticking my head in the sand about it, but I want him to be healthy and happy.

He’s been with his vet a long time and he promised to tell me when it was time to let him go. He’s still up and about, eats well, goes on (very short) walks, etc. So, we’ll see what the doc has to say.

I’m ready to just take care of all of this and kick this shitty as year to the curb. Come on 2012!!!

The Low Down on Down Below

by GeekGirl

Categories: Girly Bit Problems

Tags: No Tags

Comments: 7 Comments

Published on: September 30, 2011

Disclaimer: If you’re not able to hear about women’s bodies and their organs turn around. Leave. I’ve come to the conclusion that I do NOT need to whisper about my being sick. Period. I’ve done nothing wrong here. Don’t like it. Don’t read it. Hopefully this helps someone else going through the same thing.

Disclaimer #2: I also am NOT a doctor. If I misunderstand anything please feel free to contact me or correct me in the comments. Learning this stuff is hard.

There’s no way to sugar coat this shit, so I won’t.

I went to the doctor, as planned, on Wednesday. I have very rapidly growing “fibroids” in my uterus. Six of them to be exact. One of them is over 3cm. The other five range in size 1 cm to 2.3 cm. NONE of them were there 4 months ago. Further, they weren’t there 3 years ago. I’ve NEVER had issues with fibroids though they are quite common. Particularly for African American women. My left ovary has doubled in size and has a “complex” cyst. (I’m going to discuss what I’ve learned about all of this a bit later in this post.) There is a small amount of fluid in my abdominal cavity.

I put fibroids in scare quotes, because at the rate they’re growing and the number of them present they might NOT be fibroids. The might be sarcomas. Sarcomas are fancy smancy words that doctors use for cancer. My doc used it quite a lot. He also said that it’s VERY, VERY rare. He sees a case once every 10 years. He also said the same thing about women that have pulmonary embolisms at my age while on birth control, so…yeah.

From my understanding and research, ovarian cysts are really common. However, complex cysts have the possibility of being cancerous. More so than fluid filled cysts. This one was not present 4 months ago and has made my ovary double in size.

Finally, I still have abnormal cells present in my cervix. (Reminder: This is the original reason that I’ve been going back and forth to the gyno.) Even more oddly is I do NOT have HPV present. Abnormal paps and cells are often found with HPV and then cleared once the HPV is gone. The fact that I do not have HPV present is disconcerting, as well.

Add all of this to the fact that I have irregular bleeding, am starting to have trouble breathing, and my tummy pokes out like a pregnant chick and my doctor recommends: Complete removal of my uterus. Most likely my left ovary as well. Cervix might need to vacate, too.

I’ve got to be honest with you. I cried. I cried a lot. Hell, I’m still crying and will likely cry a lot afterwards. I’ve never wanted children, but I always assumed the option was there. Sounds weird, but just how it was. Maybe I met the man of my dreams and he changed my mind sort of thing.

But, seriously. Fuck babies. I might be REALLY, REALLY sick with cancers that do NOT have a great prognosis. I’m not going to get ahead of myself, but ovarian and uterine cancers are swift and deadly.

I see a gynecological oncologist on Tuesday. He will be my surgeon as well. My regular doctor says that I need to decide really quickly if I want kids. There are other procedures that can be done to save my womb, if there is no cancer present. Those things put my life further at risk IF any of this is cancerous. Women die while trying to “save” their uterus. The best thing to do is remove it all. At this point, I’m on the side of it remove it.

Even if it’s not cancerous these growths are not normal. While I’m not having HUGE problems right now, they will continue to get worse. And…honestly, I’m sick of this shit. I’ve been dealing with the cervical thing since ’08.

Fuck it! I want to see some action. I want to see some movement. Some sort of fight back.

So, there you have it.

I’ll let myself wallow in it for a couple of nights and then it’s time to take care of this shit. There is a lot that is out of my hands, but that does not mean I just lay here and give up.

And please, for the love of DOG, DO NOT TELL ME “AT LEAST YOU’LL NEVER HAVE PERIODS AGAIN.” I will kick the next bitch that says that squarely in the pussy. (It’s always women.) I’ll take a million periods over being cut open and possibly having cancer. FUCK YOU!

Can I Post My Ultrasounds on Facebook, Too?

by GeekGirl

Categories: Girly Bit Problems

Tags: No Tags

Comments: 3 Comments

Published on: September 14, 2011

I debated even writing about this. For some reason, it’s embarrassing. After some thought, I realized that these issues are no different than someone talking about any other part of their body. I have nothing to be embarrassed about. There is something wrong with a part of my body. It just happens to be my sex organs. So what? I’ve done nothing wrong. If you don’t like it, don’t read.

I got the results back from the transvaginal ultrasound (yes. It’s as pleasant as it sounds.) on my uterus a couple of days ago. To refresh your memory, my doctor found a large lump during my exam that was extremely painful. I have 6 fibroids in my uterus. One of them is rather large. More concerning however is the cyst on my left ovary. Hopefully it’s nothing and will resolve on it’s own, but I have to do the whole cancer screening and ruling out first.

So, I have to go get a blood test to see if there are carcinogens found in my blood (I might not be saying this properly). After that, we will work on what my options are here. 95% of the time that cysts are found on the ovaries it is NOT cancer. BUT, when it is ovarian cancer it is deadly. 75% of women diagnosed with ovarian cancer die from it. It is called the silent killer. I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but that scares the shit out of me.

For some reason we still have no information on my cervix. (The fibroids and cyst are totally separate from my recurring abnormal pap and precancerous cervix. They were found WHILE handling the cervical issue.) I will have to call and follow up on that in the next day or so.

Even though it could be nothing, all of these issues combined make me think it is something. Even if everything is benign this is not normal. My doctor basically said that there will be some sort of treatment. What? I don’t know yet. Hopefully, it’s just a pill or something. (This is highly unlikely since they usually put women on birth control to help with cysts and fibroids. I cannot take bc due to my blood clot situation. Wow do I suck.)

The only good thing to come from this is that I now know why my stomach is hard and protrudes the way it does. I’ve been trying to lose weight, but my odd stomach is likely due to cysts and fibroids. My mom had the same issue and had 10 lbs of fibroids. (I do acknowledge that my ass is bigger and that is due to my inactivity and fondness for Drumsticks!) I’m kind of relieved to now that the 7 extra pounds I gained in about a week is likely due to a medical reason. (That is kind of sick when you think about it.)

The cool thing – besides learning that I’m not really a fatass – is that I now have something to post on FaceBook that will upstage all those bitches posting their sonograms. Win!!!

page 1 of 1

Already Happened