Category Archives: C.R.E.A.M.

Relentless Forward Motion

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“As long as you keep making RFM (Relentless Forward Motion), you will finish.” – Stacey Page

The past few years I’ve spent more days frustrated with my life than I have celebrating and enjoying my life. Everything has been a constant struggle. I feel like I take two steps forward, four or five back. Numerous years later, I am right back where I started from. Perhaps even worse because now I’m also broke.

As I work hard to get things on track it’s easy to get frustrated with the process. I want to have all the money now! I want to run fast now! I want to be a non-drinker/moderate drinker now! Now! Now! Now! I want it all now!

The problem with that thinking is that it took YEARS to get me here. Years of sickness, bills, student loans, gin and wine, sitting on my ass, and general debauchery to get here. It’s not all going to come undone over night. I’m not going to have this perfect life with a sweet 76 El Camino, hot bearded-boyfriend, and an alpaca farm out of nowhere. (Do not judge my dreams, people!)

So, as I sit here frustrated with myself because once again I’ve spent money on something stupid I have to look at the bigger picture. I’ve cut back on my drinking significantly (though not as much as I would like), I’ve been running and am seeing a tiny glimpse of my former runner girl self, and my finances are slowly but surely heading towards a better place.

I just need to be patient and continue moving forward.

Now, let’s cut all the bull shit and get to the important stuff:
Would you come visit me on my sweet alpaca farm and ride in my El Camino? I thing being a hippie, farmer would be great and think of the cute clothes. I look great in a cowboy hat and boots. (Designer, of course.)

Gotta Start Somewhere

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Though I’ve been cleared to get my run/bike/swim/whatever the hell I want on, today marks the first day I actually went to the gym. I did try an ill-fated walk/run a week or so ago. I was out for about 15 minutes and it really did not feel so great. I decided that I would give myself a bit more time to heal and try to just go with what feels ok.

For some reason, this morning felt like the right day to head to the gym. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do or how I was going to feel.

I thought that the elliptical trainer would be the least stressful exercise that I could stand.  The first few minutes were a bit rough and I was winded within 3 minutes. There was a slight ache around my surgery area (internally) and a bit of discomfort around my incision, but that slowly started to fade as I got further into my “workout”.

Overall, I wound up with 20 minutes on the elliptical at the lowest setting and then a 10 minute walk. Total of 30 minutes “cardio”.

This little workout has left me pretty tired. I’m relaxing for the rest of the day.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not disappointed or frustrated with how long it’s taking me to get back to running or just working out in general. On the other hand, I respect the fact that my body has been through a pretty serious surgery and I need to give it the time it needs to heal. I suppose I just need a little patience.

I don’t think I’ve been this out of shape in years. Not even after my embolism in ’08. I’m also at the heaviest I’ve ever been and it’s getting frustrating and making me feel a bit down. Especially not being able to wear pants. I’m sick of sweatpants and dresses. (I suppose I could go buy some cute dresses. Oh yeah. I owe the hospital shitloads of cash for my surgery.)

Well, I don’t want to get myself and everyone else down. I suppose I’ll just keep moving forward. What else can I do?

Where the Hell Have I Been???

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I’ve been a very bad little blogger. What have I been busy doing? Celebrating my birthday, quitting and then returning to my job, seeing completely inappropriate men (appropriate for what, though), going to gay Easter pool parties, and just general debauchery. I like debauchery.

For the most part, things are good here. Perhaps a little too good. I’ve spent way too much money (OMFG you’ve got to see the vintage Dior purse I bought!!), not run enough, and had too much booze. So, May will be the month I work really hard to set all those things right. I know this will work because my gay is doing the same thing and he’s the main person that gets me in trouble. I might have to swear off the gays for a bit. I always wind up getting in trouble with them even if it’s just a boring ass trip to the mall.

My coach has sent over my training for the month and it’s…interesting. I’ll be tackling a lot workouts that I’ve never tried before which is exciting.

I will also be attempting to grow this:

This is a huge step for me. I kill everything I touch. I’ll have to get pictures of some of my other disasters. I bought sunflowers, daisies, tomatoes, and strawberries. They were in the dollar bin at Target, so…who knows.

It’s time for me to go sell running shoes to the masses. Then, tomorrow morning I’ll be doing that Mud Run thing. Woot!!!! (This might be a disaster since I only ran once or twice this week. I’m confident I can finish 6.2 miles though. I just hope there’s no climbing. I can’t climb.)

Also, if you read me please say hi. I want to add everyone to my bloggy friends on the side there. (I’ll also be updating my blog. This gray is just depressing.)

Spending Freeeezzzeeeee….

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As many of you may know I’m a bit of a financial nerd. I love playing with spreadsheets, planning out budgets, and saving for a rainy day. In general, it’s hard for me and my money to separate for anything but the essentials. Until now…

I’ve been on a buying blitz the past couple of months. It all started when my main gay and I decided that we’re going to get hot this year. (Yes. In our world “hot” is an actual decision.) He was appalled that I haven’t bought cute clothes for myself, carried a questionable purse, and wear NO makeup. He’s known me since I was 17. While I’ve never been a super makeup/clothing aficionado, I did always look pulled together and like I cared. Over the past few years not so much.

So what does this do? Prompt me to buy, buy, buy!

While most of what I buy is well within my budget I really, really need to reign it in. Also, my grocery bills are OUTRAGEOUS. I need to shop a bit smarter.

Now, you’re probably wondering what type of ridiculousness I’ve bought. Here’s a partial list:

  • Christi Harris Eyebrow Planing System – If this works, I’ll review it. My eyebrows are horrendous. I bought laser hair removal but decided to use that elsewhere.
  • Overpriced  Designer Jeans
  • Tons of shirts/tanks/tops.
  • New limited edition Bobbi Brown makeup

And the list goes on. The cool thing is that people have noticed that I’m taking better care of my appearance. The bad thing? Ouch! My bank account hurts.

After pouring over Quickbooks, a spreadsheet, and my credit card statements it’s become apparent that I don’t need to buy anything but the necessities for a while. How long? I’m not sure.  For the foreseeable future, I’m stopping shopping*. Otherwise, I am not going to be able to go on vacation.

You know what’s better than cute eyebrows? EUROPE, bitches! (Deets coming soon.)

With that, here’s to my spending freeze/actually paying attention to what I buy at the grocery store again!

Coming up: A 5k this weekend. I am in no way ready for this race. Oh well. Onward!

* Note – “Shopping” does not include paying for trips, etc. I mean no makeup, clothes, beauty products, clothes for Gio, etc. Yeah. Gio got a makeover, too.

My Life is A TV Drama

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I’m in a bit of crisis here. Whatevs. It happens. Anyway, when I was walking to my car this evening I noticed the cops were waiting outside of “Creepy Guys” house. This is a guy that goes out at noon and lays in his driveway with what looks like undies on. I tried to get a picture once only to notice that he was staring right at me.

That’s not the point of this post.

Anyway, as I was driving home after staring at this spectacle, it dawned on me that my life is totally some bullshit TV drama. In no particular order, this is what the last few months have looked like for me:

  • My dog is dying. But, he’s taking his dear sweet time and costing me an arm and leg while doing it. (Sidenote: He’s completely off the chain. Stealing food. Digging in the trash. Humping legs. Go Gio…If I knew that my time was up, I would be doing the same thing.)
  • I’m broke. See above.
  • I had to have a lawyer send a cease and desist order to an ex. (Sidenote: I know you’re reading. Fuck you!!!)
  • I went to the hospital with panic attacks.
  • Friday and Sunday there was a peeping tom in my neighborhood. At my windows. I’ve since had to put foil over my kitchen window. The cops chased him and everything. They didn’t catch him.
  • Oddly, the description of said peeping tom fits my new neighbor that is 3 houses down. He is creepy and knocked on my neighbors door at 7 am. To walk her dog. Yeah. He tried to chat me up, but I pretty much picked up Gio and ran.I no longer walk that way.
  • I’ve been doing work on a side project. He was supposed to mail me a check and didn’t. (He paid the last time.) I’m also creeped out that he knows where I live, but I know his ex and have run with her.
  • The house around the corner from me was busted selling drugs. Also, someone is selling drugs in my old building.. (Which is across the street and 3 houses down.)
  • My mom is marrying someone that I call the Decepticon. (For serious, y’all.)
  • I drink way too much.
  • My creepy fucking neighbor is just being creepy. (AKA Fatkid.)
  • All of my other neighbors are at war with each other. My neighborhood is sooooo gay.
  • I’m trying to drink green smoothies and they totally make my stomach do horrible stuff and I don’t always have access to a bathroom. I make up excuses to leave my very, very small office.
  • Since I work one on one with my boss, we are both in the batshit crazy wormhole.
  • I’m taking 4 classes this semester. Yeah. Sit and simmer on that for a bit.
  • My kitchen is being overtaken by ants. (Totally makes me think of One Hundred Years of Solitude.)
  • I got a booty call from a guy that I met on NYE. At 5 am. He was semi-cute when I was drunk, but not cute enough for a 5 am booty call.
  • My other neighbor (whom I love) is going on awesome gay adventures and loves to tell me about them. The stories are tv show worthy!
  • My list for Things to Do 2011, includes “Be A Hottie Again”. There is then a breakdown of how to make that happen.
  • My weirdo, raw foodist ex keeps popping up. Dude is WEIRD.

Seriously…I would watch this show. It would be the best show on tv if it weren’t my fucking life. I wonder what it would be called. Any ideas?

Banking Woes

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I have about 1 to many checking accounts. For the most part I’ve been able to keep them in order and pay the proper things out of the right accounts. Until now.

Last week, I realized that I hadn’t paid for the Jetta. So, I hopped onto the VW account and sent off a payment. No big deal. That was on Saturday. On Tuesday, I was updating all of my information in Quicken and realized that the money hadn’t been taken out of the account yet. I logged in and it showed that it had been paid, so I assumed that it just wasn’t showing yet on my banks account. Then I got a notice in the mail saying that my credit union account was overdrawn. This is the account that I don’t put too much money in for the most part. It’s for recreational stuff.  I usually keep less than $200 in that account.

Well, I’m still getting notices and as of now I’m at -$284. I’m going in tomorrow to get the account squared away and also to close it. Since I won’t have my side job anymore this account is pointless and inconvenient. It also just begs for stuff like this to happen.

I should be freaking out, but I really do not care. It’ll all be taken care of tomorrow and life will go on.

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Today’s Run: 4.67 miles |  50:00 | 10:43
This was my first “Steady State” run. I decided to do most of my speedwork at the gym until it gets cooler. Otherwise all that is going to happen on these runs (at least until I’m way more fit) is that I’m going to blow the hell up on my runs. So, I did 20 minutes @ 11:00ish, 15 minutes @ 9:53, and then 15 minute cool down around 10:53 or so. I felt really good and there were no issues with my banged toe.

I’m hurting from hitting the door yesterday. My foot hurts and so does my hamstring and neck. Hopefully, it will feel fine shortly. Also, my left knee is bothering me, but what else is new. Since I fell on it last year in Peru it’s been a whiny bitch. I should NOT have done those squats last week.

Tomorrow: EZ 45 – 60 minute run. Will cut short if still achy or my knee is bothering me.

I Can See the Light

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Since many of you follow me on Twitter, this is probably redundant. Anyway, I got a freaking raise!!! A nice sized raise, at that. Woohoo!!!

I’m not quite sure how much my my take home pay will be.  My boss told me, but I was so happy about getting a raise all I heard was Charlie Brown style-grown-up-talk.  Since it’s a percentage I do know it’s at least $125 or so more per check. Woohoo!!! This is huge and tosses my paycheck to a decent amount. I’m pumped.

Over the past couple of months I’ve done a lot of work to get my savings back in order. Things are tight due to my hospital bills that I’m paying down. I’m down to my last $700 on the big one that was about $5000 last year. My goal is to have that one out of here in the next 3 months. That will be the last of my bills from my near-death experience. I then need to tackle my PT bill from last year. I thought all of my visits to the PT were covered.They weren’t and I racked up a $1000 bill. I’d like that to be out of here by the end of the year. I’d love to see at least half of my raise go to my retirement and investment account. I’d love to up the ante on those 2 accounts. They’ve been neglected for so long due to illness and stuff.  Finally, I need to really start tackling some of my student loans. Particularly my first one from eons ago. That bitch is going down.

So, in summary, my raise will be used to knock some bills out and boost my savings. The best thing??? I can quit my second job this summer!!! I’m going to stick it out for a couple of months since my school workload is light for the summer, but I will quit no later than fall. Further, I’m going to budget out that money, too.

It’s so nice to start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

Taxes Filed

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Somehow I lost my W-2 for my primary job. I meant to get a copy from my boss, but kept forgetting to ask for it. Today I finally ran by the accountants office today and grabbed a copy. I just finished a my taxes and will be getting quite a decent return.  Enough to pay off my hospital bill. Woohoo.

Now this presents another issue. It appears that I’m being paid less than I’m supposed to be paid. I need to ask about that and get that issue resolved. I got a raise ages ago, but my W-2 doesn’t reflect that, so…Sigh.

March Stuff!

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Yes. I’ll be doing this, too. It seems like everyone on the internets is raving about all of the weight they lost by doing Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred. (I got it for free since I had an Amazon gift card for $10.) What can I say? I’m vain and want my abs back.

I’ve been running really consistently for at least 4 months (no less than 4-5 runs a week) and hadn’t really dropped any weight. . .until this week. I hopped on the scale and realized I’ve lost SEVEN pounds. I’m not really sure how that happened, but I’m not really going to look a gift horse in the mouth, either. I think some of the weight loss is due to eating a really strange diet last week. I was often out of food and would get tofu or something from the Whole Foods hot bar. I also ate a lot of oatmeal and didn’t run. I need to analyze it a bit because maybe something I was eating prior was making me bloat or something. (I did away with all cheese and veggie burgers…so maybe that’s it?)

So, I weighed in this morning at 118. I’d like to get down to 112, but I’m not really a numbers person. If everything firms up and I get strong but stay the same weight I’m fine. (That’s actually why I wasn’t losing any weight while running. Everything got firm, but my weight stayed up.) What I want to see is some muscle tone like I used to have and nice flat abs. They’re almost there, I just need some toning and stuff. If I get up the nerves I’ll post some before pictures. (Doubtful.)

In other, not so great news – I’m broke. No. Seriously. B-R-O-K-E. I had to take out of my school money to pay for Gio’s surgery. That was $670. I had to get an eye exam, contact lenses, buy $300 in school books. Financially, this year is not off to a good start. In addition to that, I keep buying stuff. Mainly food, but I know I can eat cheaper food.

I’m hoping that this month goes super smoothly and I can get back on my feet financially. I’d like to not use my credit cards at all and stay within my budget for this month. It’s the only way that I can keep my finances from getting further out of control. For the time being, I’m in savings mode. I need to stick every single penny away to build my Emergency Fund back up to $1000 and to replace my school money. Hopefully, there will be no more financial surprises.

I’ll have my race pics posted later. I have to do a screen grab to catch them and don’t have the software on this box.

Onward, bitches!

Time to Leave ING Direct?

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I use ING Direct for my Emergency savings, IRA, and to hold my school money. When I opened the account years ago, I think my interest was around 5% or so. That’s awesome. It was hanging on at around 2% for a while. Now it’s slipped down to 1.2 or something. That’s pretty pathetic and barely worth the trouble of moving money back and forth and stuff. It might be time for me to take my money elsewhere.

I’m not sure if I’m going to find anything better. I like Ally. There interest is only at 1.49%, but they have some interesting options for CD’s including a “No Penalty” CD. I really like that idea. I love that I can’t really touch CD’s, but I would really like to know that the money is available if there is an emergency. Otherwise, I’m not quite sure where I would go. I could consolidate my money and just put it all at Schwab or the local Credit Union. It would be far easier to access and the interest isn’t that different from what I’m getting.

Do any of you know of places with better interest rates?